Berzen

but the internet like its maker is an imperfect piece of shit that fucks everything up. So I guess typing is the way to go for now. I feel not so good. Though I am uncertain why. I have being reading a lot about buddhism and the poisons... the three poisons, the dangers of desire and fear... I tell myself there is no reason to feel like this, but I feel it none the less. I am not so sure what to do...

in a high-strung and uptight kinda way. See! See! This is exactly what I mean! I couldn't fit that all in the title... it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but why the fuck not? why? huh? why can't I? Is that really so much to ask? So me and Shawn are hanging out and he says to me, "I wish I wasn't so high-maintenance." Now Shawn's gay, so he is most likely higher maintenance than most straight men except for the ones who always get mistaken as gay, but really, he's not bad. He's actual very practical and capable and there have definitely been moments where Shawn's shrugged his shoulders and said "ehh" when other people would

Yesterday was St. Patrick's day. I was interested in getting drunk and just relaxing, letting shit go. It didn't really work out successfully. Nothing bad really happened. It just took too long to get any kind of buzz on and by then Amber was pretty much done and it was late and it didn't feel like a holiday anymore, just another crappy day with nothing to really show for it. Well, besides some musings, I guess... There was a protest in Lansing a few days ago. I always find that stuff interesting and looked into it, yesterday. I'm trying to accept that I am a more subtle mature type character. Not the life of the party. Not particularly i